Rise Up With Fists!!!

Rise Up With Fists!!! by Jenny Lewis


According to Jenny Lewis, trying to change someone is like cleaning the ocean... and she's right. It seems odd that changing would be so difficult, but it really is. Sure we change how we dress and who we hang out with, but changing who one is... well that, for whatever reason, is really effin' hard to do.

But why? Why is it so hard to change? Why are we so set in our ways and our personality? Why is it that we can't actually make the necessary changes to be a better person? Why is it that we all too often continue with self destructive behavior? And why is it that we think we can change other people, or at the very least, our loved ones? And why is it that change, if it does occur, a gradual process that takes months or years for it to happen?

Most people that I know are at least somewhat self aware—they know what their vices are and most people are conscious of their negative personality traits be it pride, stubbornness, arrogance, or whatever... so if we're aware of these negatives, why is it that we constantly continue to fail or fall into the same negative behaviors? Why is it, that whenever I get a bit frustrated in a relationship my gut reaction is to bolt and get away... not necessary break up, but get out of the situation at the moment? Why don't I stick around and get going with the toughness?

(Okay don't answer that, that can be summed up to immaturity).

But just because I know this and know that I can't and shouldn't do this... well I have a history of doing it. And this isn't good. And I want to change it, I'm going to change it, but will I change it?

At some point I'll have to—if I don't... well we all know.

So why is change so hard? And why can't I change my negative traits?

And here's the real kicker about change and relationships... the right person? That's the person you have to change with at the same time and at the same rate... but that's another day.