Your New Man

Your New Man by Mason Jennings



There is bad news, there is sad news, and then there is finding out that the girl you just broke up with is now dating another guy... yeah, she's got a new man.

This has happened to me twice and neither time was it an enjoyable experience. The New Man—no matter who he is or what you thought of him before (if you know him)—is now the biggest asshole, creep ball, son of a bitch to ever walk the Earth. No if and or buts. He just is. Everything sort of creepy that he ever said or you ever heard about him comes creeping into your head and all you want to do is to tell the—now old—girlfriend is: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!!! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH BETTER I AM THAN THIS SLIME BALL!!! HE PROBABLY KILLS BABY SEALS AND I WILL GUARANTEE YOU HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU!!!!

Of course, who knows... there might be some truth, but there's also a lot of bullshit in all this. The process of rejection and choosing someone else over yourself is an interesting one since it's completely irrational.

Over time of course, this all goes away. You wish everyone luck... since odds are you've become the New Man to someone else.

However there is a flip side: every time you think you know someone, you realize that you don't know them all that well. Or at least that's been my case. The "New Man", in my experience, I've know both times. Are they bad guys? Nah. Both moved in on the Love while the Love and I still had something going on, so that's kind of like rubbing salt in the wounds since everything because so fucking obvious in retrospect, but c'est le via. Am I shocked that the former loves choose the guys they did? Of course. Why? I'm keeping that to myself, but let's say I've found the irony both times.