Chicago

Chicago by Sufjan Stevens



2005--24th Birthday
I had been in D.C. for about three weeks, didn't have a job, and I bought an open ended train ticket from D.C. to New Haven. I wasn't in a rush to get back to D.C. from New Haven. In fact, I would end up spending five or six amazing days in and around the town. The weather was perfect, the vibe I got from New Haven was wonderful, and things were going very well with the Lou.

But I was also a lost soul at that point. I was naive and innocent. My life was, well, headed in a downward spiral. I didn't totally know this, I was over confident and life was about to blindside me, but I felt as if I close to really getting everything in place.

The reality was that New Haven was an escape for me. It was somewhere that I didn't have to face the reality of day to day life. Things with the Lou were, good, but they weren't great. I didn't realize any of this at that time. It would only come into focus over the next few months and then upon reflection years since I left D.C.

I was to leave New Haven on the 7th, my birthday. But the night before, The Lou took me to a pizza place. We would sit in this joint, Modern APizza, eating a pizza and sharing a pitcher of beer. A few months later, after the Lou and I broke up, I would write this:
"I am, after all, forever indebted to you since you have saved me on my birthday. Call it luck or something else that I can't think of at the moment, the point is, I shall never forget. Even though that night of pizza and a pitcher of beer wasn't on September 7th, it was close enough for me to remember probably until I pass on. It was a darn near perfect night for me less than a month into my move to DC where I was alone, lost, and lacking love. It was a very nice night, I think we can both agree to that."

I spent my 24th birthday, well at least six hours of it, on a train. I'd get home to my apartment and tell my roommate that it was my birthday, he would then tell me that I should have said something and he would have gone out and gotten a drink. I told him it was okay. There were presents some where mixed in and I would then go to bed, thinking about the previous night—the worst was to come.