Somebody Changed by The Clientele
Seriously... what is this? I know I called Beach House indie soft rock yesterday, but I forgot about these guys. These guys are like a crappy Beach Boys combined with shitty Wilco and your favorite Eagles song. In fact if you like the Clientele then you probably also like the Eagles, and you know what? The Eagles fucking suck. And as a music fan, I don't think there is a worse insult that can be given. Sort of like calling an intellectual ignorant or a frat boy gay... no greater insult can be thrown around. So you know what? If you like the Clientele, you like the Eagles, and therefore your taste in music blows. Sorry. You can like the Doobie Brothers and have good taste. You can enjoy Kiss and have good musical points. But you cannot like the Eagles and have good musical taste. It's impossible.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Apple Orchard
Editor notes: This week INDIE BANDS THAT SUCK YET EVERYONE TELLS ME THEY ARE AWESOME, ONLY THEY AREN'T AND NO ONE WILL SAY IT.
Apple Orchard by Beach House
If you enjoy music that doesn't go anywhere, that's slow, that whines, that is outright boring... then Beach House is the band for you. These guys suck. They're one of the worst bands I've ever heard, yet people seem to love them.
Why?
They sound like half the shitty bands out there that play five notes over three minutes with an organ. But things move so slowly and never builds to anything... it's like listening to really really bad Bread.
Beach House is what I'll call soft rock indie—only more boring than your usual soft rock crap. And therefore thanks to the "I'm going to fall asleep" organ, lack of any beat/rhythm/bass, and rejection of hooks and rifts, Beach House is an indie band that sucks.
Apple Orchard by Beach House
If you enjoy music that doesn't go anywhere, that's slow, that whines, that is outright boring... then Beach House is the band for you. These guys suck. They're one of the worst bands I've ever heard, yet people seem to love them.
Why?
They sound like half the shitty bands out there that play five notes over three minutes with an organ. But things move so slowly and never builds to anything... it's like listening to really really bad Bread.
Beach House is what I'll call soft rock indie—only more boring than your usual soft rock crap. And therefore thanks to the "I'm going to fall asleep" organ, lack of any beat/rhythm/bass, and rejection of hooks and rifts, Beach House is an indie band that sucks.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Us Ones In Between
Editor notes: This week INDIE BANDS THAT SUCK YET EVERYONE TELLS ME THEY ARE AWESOME, ONLY THEY AREN'T AND NO ONE WILL SAY IT.
Us Ones In Between by Sunset Rubdown
I don't know where to begin. I tried to like this band. I listened to "Shut Up I'm Dreaming" about 20 times during the summer of 2007 at work.
But this is what I concluded from the album: It Sucked. The band tries to sound big, it tries to do interesting things, it tries to play well. But they fail. Big time. Songs take far to long to develop and they rarely go any where. Take this song as a great example. The rift isn't interesting or good. The lead singer sounds like shit. There is a completely unnecessary and annoying triangle which is for some reason really really really loud. And the song never builds... or... goes... any... where... and thus it's one of the most boring songs I've heard in a while. It's bad. It's down right ugly.
It's just quasi-psychedelic noise. The lead singer sounds like he's been shot in the liver and both legs, but he's kind of happy about it. And therefore, Sunset Rubdown is an indie/hipster band that fucking sucks. I don't care what anyone says. They blow.
But here's what's weird... I really like Wolf Parade. However this doesn't excuse the shit that is Sunset Rubdown.
Us Ones In Between by Sunset Rubdown
I don't know where to begin. I tried to like this band. I listened to "Shut Up I'm Dreaming" about 20 times during the summer of 2007 at work.
But this is what I concluded from the album: It Sucked. The band tries to sound big, it tries to do interesting things, it tries to play well. But they fail. Big time. Songs take far to long to develop and they rarely go any where. Take this song as a great example. The rift isn't interesting or good. The lead singer sounds like shit. There is a completely unnecessary and annoying triangle which is for some reason really really really loud. And the song never builds... or... goes... any... where... and thus it's one of the most boring songs I've heard in a while. It's bad. It's down right ugly.
It's just quasi-psychedelic noise. The lead singer sounds like he's been shot in the liver and both legs, but he's kind of happy about it. And therefore, Sunset Rubdown is an indie/hipster band that fucking sucks. I don't care what anyone says. They blow.
But here's what's weird... I really like Wolf Parade. However this doesn't excuse the shit that is Sunset Rubdown.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Insistor
Editor notes: This week INDIE BANDS THAT SUCK YET EVERYONE TELLS ME THEY ARE AWESOME, ONLY THEY AREN'T AND NO ONE WILL SAY IT.
Insistor by Tapes 'n Tapes
First of all, what the fuck is insistor? Wikipedia doesn't come up with anything. This leaves me confused. And since I don't know what it is the fact that the band is using it is lame. This is the best song on the album though.
Second, I'm supposed to like this band because they sound like the Pixies (they don't) and Pavement (they don't). Not buying it. Sorry. These guys fall into the "Bands that don't do a good job ripping off a good band" category. They should let Pavement keep doing whatever the fuck the guys from Pavement are doing.
Third, is there any sort of rhythm to this band? I don't feel like moving or singing along or doing anything when I hear the songs off of "The Loon". Do any of their songs go any where? Let me answer that: No.
Fourth, I'm sorry, but "The Loon" sounds like a bunch of songs written by 10th graders and preformed by a bad college band. Nothing about the song structure or the sound is redeemable. Whoever the front man is sounds like he's whining half the time and would someone please tell me why there is so much unnecessary noise in these songs? Please? Because it's fucking annoying.
Fifth, this was the album that made me loose faith in Pitchfork as any sort of guide to new music. That's not to say that Pitchfork sucks, it just means that I couldn't use them as a guide to buy new music without actually listening to the band first. This was totally my fault. And Pitchfork does have important things to say, I can't stress that enough. But when it came to judging music I enjoy and music they enjoy... well our relationship was over.
Finally, Tapes 'n Tapes is one of those annoying indie bands whose sound is unoriginal, I think you have to do designer rich white boy drugs to enjoy them, and they can't write a fucking song. But since they can sort of play an instrument and we don't know what the fuck they're talking about, every hipster liked them for a few months in 2005. A fucking shame because Tapes 'n Tapes suck.
Insistor by Tapes 'n Tapes
First of all, what the fuck is insistor? Wikipedia doesn't come up with anything. This leaves me confused. And since I don't know what it is the fact that the band is using it is lame. This is the best song on the album though.
Second, I'm supposed to like this band because they sound like the Pixies (they don't) and Pavement (they don't). Not buying it. Sorry. These guys fall into the "Bands that don't do a good job ripping off a good band" category. They should let Pavement keep doing whatever the fuck the guys from Pavement are doing.
Third, is there any sort of rhythm to this band? I don't feel like moving or singing along or doing anything when I hear the songs off of "The Loon". Do any of their songs go any where? Let me answer that: No.
Fourth, I'm sorry, but "The Loon" sounds like a bunch of songs written by 10th graders and preformed by a bad college band. Nothing about the song structure or the sound is redeemable. Whoever the front man is sounds like he's whining half the time and would someone please tell me why there is so much unnecessary noise in these songs? Please? Because it's fucking annoying.
Fifth, this was the album that made me loose faith in Pitchfork as any sort of guide to new music. That's not to say that Pitchfork sucks, it just means that I couldn't use them as a guide to buy new music without actually listening to the band first. This was totally my fault. And Pitchfork does have important things to say, I can't stress that enough. But when it came to judging music I enjoy and music they enjoy... well our relationship was over.
Finally, Tapes 'n Tapes is one of those annoying indie bands whose sound is unoriginal, I think you have to do designer rich white boy drugs to enjoy them, and they can't write a fucking song. But since they can sort of play an instrument and we don't know what the fuck they're talking about, every hipster liked them for a few months in 2005. A fucking shame because Tapes 'n Tapes suck.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Maybe I'm Amazed
Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney
On the "most overrated songs of all time" list, I think this song has to be considered. It's boring, it goes no where, they lyrics aren't terribly interesting... yet the song gets radio play and seems to be known by most people. Probably because it's by Paul McCartney.
But I can't stand Paul. He's a wanker who charges way too much money for his concerts, and his music after he left the Beatles was average at best. And he's an arrogant sob:
On the "most overrated songs of all time" list, I think this song has to be considered. It's boring, it goes no where, they lyrics aren't terribly interesting... yet the song gets radio play and seems to be known by most people. Probably because it's by Paul McCartney.
But I can't stand Paul. He's a wanker who charges way too much money for his concerts, and his music after he left the Beatles was average at best. And he's an arrogant sob:
'It will help reaffirm McCartney's claim to have been the most musically adventurous of all the Beatles,' said Wilson this weekend. 'He told me he would love to release the track. All he needs now is the blessing of Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono and George Harrison's widow Olivia.'
Oh really Paul McCartney was the most musically adventurous? Really? Since when? Since he's the only one alive? Because Lennon did more interesting and risky songs when the Beatles were together and George Harrison was an amazing musician and had his own unique sound that is so often overlooked by critics (imo). Why is it that all Paul McCartney songs sound like the greatest ditty ever written? Why don't they sound like mind blowing, 'I've never heard anything like this before' ala Radiohead?
Because Paul McCartney didn't write musically adventurous songs. He wrote "We Can Work It Out", "I Will", "I've Just Seen a Face", and "Can't By Me Love." Those are all great songs. But they aren't adventurous.
And neither is "Maybe I'm Amazed."
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Slow Show
Slow Show by The National
I really like these guys. Last year's album was really good with a lot of quality songs.
This song falls into the haunting yet beautiful category. Songs like this a perfect for the winter or a desolate urban area, where things look a bit haunting or daunting yet there is a beauty about it all. And with today being the first day of winter (it's cold, gray, and flurries float by every once in a while) this song fits for today.
I love the bridge (or outro) at the end of the song, it's beautiful and feels so real. I love songs that make me feel.
I really like these guys. Last year's album was really good with a lot of quality songs.
This song falls into the haunting yet beautiful category. Songs like this a perfect for the winter or a desolate urban area, where things look a bit haunting or daunting yet there is a beauty about it all. And with today being the first day of winter (it's cold, gray, and flurries float by every once in a while) this song fits for today.
I love the bridge (or outro) at the end of the song, it's beautiful and feels so real. I love songs that make me feel.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A Change Is Gonna Come
A Change Is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke
I submit this without comment today. Sam's voice says it best.
I submit this without comment today. Sam's voice says it best.
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